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Thread: They say pride comes before a fall....now confidence takes a tumble :(

  1. #1
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    Default They say pride comes before a fall....now confidence takes a tumble :(

    Things have been going really well recently, I've been so chuffed and proud of our progress together, showing and dressage tests even the hacking was improving and then just as I had psyched myself to finally get jumping again too Thea puts in a huge bronco at the start of our lesson last Monday and I was on the floor! Had no idea where it came from and luckily my backside took the brunt of the impact - I felt fine to get back on with instructor on hand and we carried on (me a bit tentative at first) 20 minutes later she tripped on a trotting pole and up she went again and off I came - AGAIN!!

    Anyway two days later I ached all over but by yesterday I was almost supple enough again to get back on (how old did the aches make me feel!). I have no doubt she picked up on my slight apprehension when she threw her head back in protest as I tried to tack her up, then ran backwards on my second attempt breaking the equitie I was using, by which time my now frustration combined with aprehension wasn't a good mix so my friend finished putting her bridle on for me - result = I felt pathetic

    Got on in the school with OH on standby just in case and was very pleased that soon enough I felt happy to be in the saddle again - GOOD result I thought, happy with my horse again

    BUT.....tonight's Monday lesson, getting tacked up again she does the same thing when I go to put her bridle on and although I know she's just trying it on because she can sense I'm half expecting some reaction again (yesterday's event still in back of my mind) I feel my confidence take a bashing just when i didn't need it. Handy hint from instructor, put her backside against the wall and have another go - she can only go as far as the wall - it worked! But I still beat myself up for getting tense

    So I had my lesson, it wasn't great because I find it hard to relax when I'm beating myself up for getting nervous and frustrated with myself when in my head I thought I was now OK about the bucking incident.

    I have a show this weekend and I want to enjoy it, I just feel my confidence has now taken a dive just as things were going in the right direction and although I try to focus on the positives those little niggling doubts keep creeping back in. Oh to be young again when I didn't worry about absolutely everything

  2. #2

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    awwwwwww its like being on a merry go round and you cant get off.

    You get nervous, horse feels it and makes you more nervous

    Try to think of all the good times and have then in your mind, when you start your ride, Im sure in no time at all everything will be back on track and you would of forgotten the bronking.

    I would have some checks done though, if she doesnt normally bronk, or was it just excitement maybe.

    xx

  3. #3
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    I don't normally say all that much on here, but if you wanted to give Thea away...

    Anyhow, what I was gonna say was take the positives. Ok, she bucked and hitting the ground is never a good feeling, but you got back on and carried on. She was horrible to tack up, but you were stressed and did what I think was the right thing and got someone else to help...I know you can reach a frame of mind where it is sometimes better stop than to persist when things are going the wrong way. You then sorted out this problem the following day and have been given a handy bit of advice for if she plays up again. And I've a feeling she will pretty soon give up the protest as all just being far too much like hard work!

    You then rode her in your lesson with her having no issues despite you being a bit tense.

    I followed you on NR and now here with your progress with Thea and have the utmost admiration for how far you have come and what a lovely horse you have. IMO you should hold onto that proud feeling. Onwards to more success at the weekend and as my instructor says to me, don't forget to breathe!
    Kat

    Small Horse - big heart, big personality!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by essexlady View Post
    awwwwwww its like being on a merry go round and you cant get off.

    You get nervous, horse feels it and makes you more nervous

    Try to think of all the good times and have then in your mind, when you start your ride, Im sure in no time at all everything will be back on track and you would of forgotten the bronking.

    I would have some checks done though, if she doesnt normally bronk, or was it just excitement maybe.

    xx
    She has done it a couple of times before due to excitement although not for a while thankfully - but I stayed on these times as there was more warning! We think it may have been because she was in season and I had my new saddle on her which could have felt different/tender possibly, combined with seasonal super stroppiness and not wanting to work - she's a nightmare even to catch when in season. I had just finished adjusting my girth so could have even sat funny - she did seem to shock herself when she did it! This happened to the lady I share a field with and her horse broncoed down the drive with her but it was a complete one off. If she does it again anytime soon (fingers crossed she doesn't) I'll get her checked. I think the 2nd buck came as a result of her still being a bit spooked from the first and I've no doubt my apprehension didn't help. My instructor said its possible, like us, she could have just twinged a muscle right at that moment and it caused that instant slightly 'explosive' reaction
    So definitely trying to focus on our recent good times, its just when you think you've turned a corner and you get a knock back, but hey-ho, I guess that's horses

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kat View Post
    I don't normally say all that much on here, but if you wanted to give Thea away...

    Anyhow, what I was gonna say was take the positives. Ok, she bucked and hitting the ground is never a good feeling, but you got back on and carried on. She was horrible to tack up, but you were stressed and did what I think was the right thing and got someone else to help...I know you can reach a frame of mind where it is sometimes better stop than to persist when things are going the wrong way. You then sorted out this problem the following day and have been given a handy bit of advice for if she plays up again. And I've a feeling she will pretty soon give up the protest as all just being far too much like hard work!

    You then rode her in your lesson with her having no issues despite you being a bit tense.

    I followed you on NR and now here with your progress with Thea and have the utmost admiration for how far you have come and what a lovely horse you have. IMO you should hold onto that proud feeling. Onwards to more success at the weekend and as my instructor says to me, don't forget to breathe!
    Thank you so much - that's so nice, you've made me feel loads better already I think I started breathing about 10mins before the end of my lesson tonight

  6. #6

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    It does sound as though something is a bit sore. The bucking could just be excitement but if she's getting stressy about being tacked up there is usually something not quite right.

    As you say, it might just be because she was in season.

    Hope you get it sorted cos you were doing so well
    Horses are for life not just for riding

  7. #7
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    You need to ask yourself two questions! Whats the worst that can happen? and Whats the chances of that happen? The answer to the second questions should be 1%
    ...

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by theebeegeebee View Post
    its just when you think you've turned a corner and you get a knock back, but hey-ho, I guess that's horses
    Keep that in mind! 'that's horses' is a use all phrase for me when I can't rationalise something - it keeps me from getting nuts and over thinking everything when it's gone a bit wrong

    You did really well though - you didn't refuse to get back on, you rode her again and persevered knowing that horses are not machines and are prone to being a bit unneccessary from time to time for whatever reason.. That's how real riders are made.. they understand that horses have foibles and work through them.

    I'd say well done! Hopefully it's just a minor blip and it'll come back together again and when it does, your confidence will have increased tenfold as you will have overcome another hurdle!
    Last edited by BIrish; 22-06-2010 at 08:37. Reason: Oops.. I said the bleeding word.. sorry!

  9. #9
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    I SO know where you're coming from with the confidence being more elusive the older you get! And there's no quick fix or magic formula. I'm rather ancient now and my confidence ebbs and flows like the tide.

    BUT you handled the situation really well, got back on, carried on with your session, sorted out the tacking up thing - don't beat yourself up for having a bit of a wibble. Wibbles are Mother Nature's way of protecting us, I reckon! I have wibbles just about every time I climb aboard, these days!

    Just a thought, but if she's often a nightmare when in season, might it be worth trying a supplement? I know people who swear by Oestruss, for example, and my vet once suggested that if my mare'e behaviour was linked to hormones (it wasn't) that there are treatments that can make a huge difference.
    "There's nowt so good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse"

  10. #10

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    yep confidence is a fragile and precious thing. But - and I have to keep telling myself this too - it can be faked! Just tell yourself you can do it and approach positively and the confidnece will come back. I have to jump about 3 times a week to keep hold of little wisps of confidence.

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